In summer, I want to radiate. I want to stand in closure of my wrongs, waving at them from a distance. I want to take the hand of my loves and dance, looking for them all in my tears, in the skies, my heart full, my chances taken, my satisfaction filled. Eyes for eyes. All things discovered.
A joyful glass casket.
A basket of fish.
In winter, I want to regret. I want to fall deep into my bed, hard, hardly feeling. I want to see the face of the cosmos shoot past me in my cold repose as I de-exist. I want my lament for life’s loss to motivate me to find them. I seek them out and rediscover them.
My sadness as motivator.
To enjoy them again.
Glint for glint; we will waltz to the music of rejoining, holding ourselves close. We will know, but nothing will be lost.
Originally published in the Antioch Voice, September, 2015.
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